What is wrong with me??

How can pple grow up and not crave for love? (as in BGR)

Oh well, i can.

I always thought I stayed single because I dun trust love or maybe my destined guy is not here yet. You know, all that stuff.

Wrong.

Cherlle and xiao boy asked me to his carnival. They wanted to introduce me to his brother and maybe we can be friends and take off from there. I told them i couldnt make it because I have got tuition.

Fine, I lied. I can cancel that tuition.

Why? You might ask.

i just realised, I am afriad of commiments. Whats so good about going into a relationship?

Love, what a terrible word - it sounds so impressive and definitive, as if it were a terminal illness, a cancer of heart, metastasis of the feelings.

From day one, the both of us have been waiting for each other to raise the subject of breaking up. Why start sth when we know its definately going to end? and the other party might end up hating u because u wanted a break up.

I dun wan to be hated. Neither do i wan to hate anyone. Hatred is a burden.

Why do couples break?

Because in everyone's heart, they potray their perfect partner. Whats perfect anyway? No one seen perfections before. Hence, even if God's most perfect creation happen to be by ur side, u will still let him slip away.

Today, I feel that he is somehow similiar to that perfect guy in my heart, so we are together. Tml, I see his flaws. My world crumbled. I broke with him. He hates me. I am sad. Things becomes grotesques.

Whats the point?

Of course, that dosent mean I am going into flings. I know i'll become nth more den a slut if that happens.

To me, if I liked him, a friendship is enff, maybe its silly. But whats life without being silly once of twice?

Nvm if he belongs to others. In no time, their relationship will be as evanescent as snowflakes. But the friendship between him and me last. I dun wan him to end up hating me. I dun wan to see his flaws, his imprefections. I wan to keep that perfect image of him in my heart forever.

isnt that beautiful?

i know this sounds like a perverese preconception, but what can u do to prove me wrong?

I know this is bo liao, too emotional to be guai lan today.

My apologies.