I am such a failure.

Mom and dad just quarreled. Mom is crying.

I duno what happened. I so wanted to go over and give her a hug, telling her everything is okay.

But all I did was to sit in front of the laptop, typing away, while she is crying upstairs.

*sigh

I am so useless. But I really cant help it when I am made this way. I never had the courage to express myself openly to anyone, not even my sistas. I am so different online and offline. I could never talk to anyone like how I blog. In reality, I was neva good with my words.

Neither could I shower hugs on the one I love, I was never brave. I always looked as if I never care, but actually, I cared. Hence, guys I liked always slipped away unknowingly.

Many of a times, I wished I could just stand in front of the ones I loved and tell them I care, I loved them. But I never did that. Dun ask me why.

What is it like when u go out with ur mother? You hold her hand, and talk abt practically everything under the sun with her.

What is it like when I go out with my mother? I never held her hand like others did. Not even once. We have nth in common to talk abt. Silence was so frequent between us that I dun feel awkward anymore. We never talked. We screamed. We quarreled.

This moment is just like any other time, when I just so fucking wanted to hug her and sae, dun cry mom, I love you.