Sometimes when one cant see the purpose of the many events that happened in your life, one can get very very lost.

I am a biomedical science student. Even idoits know i do nth but research and research. So why the hell does the school make me go through painful modules like communication and enterprising?


eh buddy. lets communicate can. talk to me leh. eh buddy. talk leh! hoi! dun talk burn down your house arh.


buddy~ Today, i am going to recommand you to a buyer. Remember later do a few stunts to impress him k?

wa lao eh. dun tell me like that meh?

From young, like any other typical kids, i had ambitious ambitions.



When i saw how lawyers helped bring those baddies to justice, saw how they gained respect and those social status, i told myself, i wan to be a outstanding lawyer when i grew up.

However, after watching ten episodes of 'healing hands', i decide that i wan to be noble and change the fate of dying people. I want my hands to be the pathway that led souls from hell to the living world.



I want to be a doctor.

And of course, the list goes on.

I know you be probabely laughing because i couldnt jolly well be anyone of them. I know, i know. i might fucking fall in the operation room while trying to do a heart transplant for a paitient. and that patient would most probabely laugh to death before the body could even detect that he lost his heart.

Okay, that wasnt the point.

The thing is, things never became quite the same when I grew up.

As i grew older, i was exposed to the temptations and experienced how evil human beings could actually be. I witnessed karmas in other people. I grew tired of this competitive world, the weak-will-die-strong-will-dominate theory. I hate to believe that people have to cunning and scheming in order to survive.

I knew i wasnt the material to be evil. fine, i am too dumb.

Hence, I have choosen something simple and yet fulfiling. I will be surrounded by not evil plots nor polictics of the office, but..



kids!

Those simple minded kids. Those honest and content kids. Its strange to see how a small little life comes to this filthy world, day by day, absorbing harmful ethics. I really cannot imagine that those innocent kids will one day become one of those uncles and aunties trying to push each other down the cliff.

Okay, i know i was a bit off.

What i am trying to sae is that I am not doing what i want.



I am throwing away distinction certs from grade 1 to 7 and this piano. My mother was pretty disappointed. She half expected i would fall my way through grew up and become a pianist. Or at least, a piano teacher.



My father on the other hand wanted me to be a successful biomedical scientist. He was pretty disappointed too, when i told him to be grateful if i start bombing labs only at the age of, say.. 30?

So just imagine their reaction when their little daughter decides to be neither one but instead, a simple and lowly paid kindergarden teacher.

I spend half of my life trying to be my parent's siewkee. When excatly can I have my own say and do something i like? I rather spend the rest of my life tripping over little childrens in the classroom than falling over boiling tubes in the labs.

I just cant help but to feel that i am wasting my time away.



I hope someone understands me.

At this instance, i suddenly feel that i am so insignificant.so much so that no guys would fancy such a simple girl like me.

PS. if i ever become a scientist, i will invent a potion that can kill uncles who peeps when people are changing. screw them.